Respect and Respectability
Would you agree that we find ourselves living in a moment in time in which the fundamental ideal of mutual respectfulness in general has been sidelined in the discourse of both our public and private affairs? More particularly, should we be concerned about the way our leaders address those who are different by some distinction, or who disagree with them on the issues? It’s not enough, it seems, for our leaders to simply acknowledge a different position on the issues, it appears that we’ve reached a new low of seeing how demeaning, degrading, and disrespectful they can be and in the most vulgar terms.
From a biblical perspective, if a person is not worthy of respect in our eyes, it doesn’t give us license to be disrespectful in the way we talk to them or about them. With poetic profundity, James said it best when he wrote, “Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell” (James 3:5-6).
In the first chapter of his epistle, James reminds us that anger is often the oil that loosens the tongue. He says, “Take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires” (James 1:19-20). But Christ-followers more than anyone must control their anger, which is the self-control that the Spirit provides if we are yielded to him. Nevertheless, it’s so difficult to do, as James acknowledges, saying, “All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison” (James 3:7-8).
Nevertheless, what James points out next is right on point when it comes to attacking people verbally out of anger, hatred, or any other sinful attitude of the heart: “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and saltwater flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water” (James 3:9-12).
Here’s the point that is pertinent to all Christians, but especially to spiritual leaders: When we curse, or speak evil against, or demean others in disrespectful speech and actions, we are attacking “human beings, who have been created in God’s likeness.” We are showing contempt and disrespect for the work of God’s hands, and, I might add, those for whom Christ died.
How we treat people reflects our character. People of character gain respect by being genuinely respectful of others. For pastors, and other spiritual leaders, character is vitally important to how those we lead view us and how they respond to our leadership and ministry among them.
James has something to say about the inequality of treatment that is often found in our churches. And although he wrote this to all members of the body of Christ, pastors ought to take particular notice because people in his sphere of influence will likely follow his example. In James 2, he writes: “My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, ‘Here’s a good seat for you,’ but say to the poor man, ‘You stand there’ or ‘Sit on the floor by my feet,’ have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?” (James 2:1-4).
We are told in God’s Word that with God “there is no favoritism” (Ephesians 6:9). When pastors follow God’s example in how he treats people without regard to their social, racial, ethnic, national, or political standing, he becomes “worthy of respect.” And this aspect of character is explicitly stated as a prerequisite of spiritual leadership. To respect others in word and deed, one demonstrates a character that is worthy of respect.
As Paul instructs Timothy concerning those to be considered as pastors and deacons, he includes this character trait along with others. For pastors he writes in I Timothy 3:1-2, “Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer (pastor, elder) is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable.” A few verses later he writes concerning the deacons: “In the same way, deacons are to be worthy of respect” (I Timothy 3:8).
Respect and respectability go together to form the character necessary for spiritual leadership.
Note of Thanks:
I am thankful as I reflect on the countless gifts of God’s generous grace this Thanksgiving Season.
- I am grateful for Elliott’s steadfast love and faithful support throughout our 52 years as partners in life and ministry. I’m thankful for her understanding of the costs inherent in serving as a pastor’s wife. She has served a far greater role in this respect than most can appreciate.
- I am grateful for my children, Laura and Brian, along with Joe and Brittney, and our grandchildren, Bella, Joey, Davis, and Andrew. They, too, in their own various ways, have made sacrifices on my behalf. I’m so thankful for their commitment to the cause of Christ and the Gospel.
- I’m grateful for my fellow-laborers and colleagues in ministry, staff members past and present, lay leaders who have stood with me, and for all my mentors and fellow pastors who have taught me so much and shared their wisdom concerning spiritual leadership.
- I’m grateful for all the churches I have been privileged to serve, for brothers and sisters in Christ who have shown me such grace and kindness, and for those who have loved our family and supported our ministry as it has evolved through the years. To all of these and countless others through whom the Lord has blessed my life, I owe a debt of love and a grateful heart to God from whom all blessings flow.
My prayer for each of you is for a happy and blessed Thanksgiving Season in the grace and goodness of God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.